Lyrics[edit | edit source]

[NEWSBOY 1]

Look at this, another murder!

Just like the other murder

that poor old General Glossop, dead!

[NEWSBOY 2]

Last week the Bishop copped it,

that bloke that done and 'opped it,

that fellow must be off his head!

[BOTH]

That's two in the last five days,

this killer has fancy ways

Outside the house of lords

ought-ta be some nice rewards,

[ALL]

He hates the upper class,

he must be on his ass,

Who could it be?

[MAN]

Don't look at me!

[LADIES]

What a shame, dear General Glossop!

I hear there's a lot of gossip,

Although it didn't come from me!

(staggered) Of course not! / No! / Of course not!

What about the poor old Bishop,

that dreadful dirt they dish up!

Do you think it's true?

it well could be!

(staggered) Imagine! / Fancy! / Really!

I say that it goes to show,

all the people we think we know

Aren't all they might appear

How right you are my dear!

It's such a shocking thing

but awfully interesting!

Who could it be?

Well now, let's see!



[ALL]

Murder! Murder! Doing folks in,

Murder! Murder! Is the worst sin

Murder! Murder! Has me screaming

Bloody murder, in the night!

Murder! Murder! Makes my blood thin!

Murder! Murder! Makes my head spin!

Murder! Murder! Starts me drinking!

Bloody murder, in the night!



[MEN]

Catching such a madman could be hard

(staggered) Shouldn't be! / I agree! / We shall see!

[WOMEN]

'cause they're also thinking Scotland yard

(staggered) Tellin' me! / I agree! / So do we!

[MEN]

They must go out and get him

he'll stab ya if they let him

I know a way to net him

How?

[ALL]

Murder!

[WOMEN]

London has this killer on the loose

Or he could be a gang!

[ALL]

Got to get his head inside a noose

the police are no use!

[MEN]

Maybe his nerve will fail him

They must go out and nail him

They've got to trail and jail him now

[ALL]

Murder!

No matter who we're blaming

'till they've got what's his name in

there's gonna be one flaming row

[WOMAN]

Until he's apprehended he could rape us all like that dear

[MAN 1]

Although the thought is [?] you're quite safe, I'll tell you flat dear

[MAN 2]

Well [?] I've a friend and he's not quite as mad as that, dear

[MAN 1]

When this whole thing is ended, if I'm wrong I'll eat my hat, dear

[WOMEN]

Murder! Murder!

There's no doubt the murderer is insane!

Oh it's plain that the man is insane!

Still, I'd say we're quite safe in park lane

Yes Elaine, very safe in park lane

We'd like a peaceful time there

They'd never have a crime there

Certainly not dear, I'm there too

[ALL]

Murder!

[MAN]

If you don't mind me sayin'

Long as he's out there slayin'

I'm gonna keep on praying, you should too!

[ALL]

Murder! Murder! It's a curse, man,

Murder! Murder! It's perverse, man,

Murder! Murder! Nothing's worse than

bloody murder in the night!



[NARRATOR]

We find ourselves outside London's posh Mayfair club. Out of the club in full evening dress and considerably worse for drinks staggers the dowager Lady Beaconsfield, ablaze with diamonds and escorted by the ubiquitous Lord Whimby. For lady Beaconsfield this is to be her last night out.



[NEWSBOY 1]

Read about the worst two murders!

[NEWSBOY 2]

Much worse than the first two murders!

[BOTH]

That makes it murders three and four!

[LADIES]

They murdered dear old Bessie,

I hear extremely messy!

Poor Bessie Beaconsfield's no more

[MEN]

That's four in the last eight days

[LADIES]

It's London's greatest craze

This time he was in park lane

[MEN]

And he may come back again

[WOMEN]

Until the killer's found

[ALL]

There's danger all around

What can we do?

We wish we knew!

Murder! Murder! Once there's one done

Murder! Murder! Can't be undone!

Murder! Murder! Lives in London,

bloody murder in the night!



[NARRATOR] Lord Whimby, still shaken from the eventful night, but pleased with his heroic performance, returns home only to face his final audience.



[FUNERAL ATTENDANTS]

Sweet death has taken this brave man from us

Sweet death has raised his score to five

Friends take what comfort that you can from us

Thank god us lot are still alive

[ALL]

God in heaven, now forever

Take him home and hold him near



London has this killer on the loose

He must hang!

Or he could be a gang!

Got to get his head inside a noose

Cook his goose!

'cept the police are no use!

Maybe his nerve will fail him

They must go out and nail him

They've gotta trail and tail him now

Murder!

No matter who we're blaming

'till they put what's his name in

there's gonna be a flaming row



Murder! Murder! On our doorstep

Murder! Murder! So watch your step

Murder! Murder! Take one more step

You'll be murdered in the night

Murder! Murder! Once there's one done

Murder! Murder! Can't be undone!

Murder! Murder! Lives in London

Bloody murder in the night!



Murder!

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